Why I Couldn’t Fall in Love With K-Dramas: The Truth...

Beautiful lighting? Yes.
Aesthetic shots? Always.
Cute plots? I struggle.
Because the female lead is always someone subjugated, yet expected to use her “empathy” to appear agreeable — almost amiable enough to tolerate the male lead’s emotional shortcomings.

But underneath all that?
A world riddled with patriarchy, dressed up as romance.

I recently tried to give K-dramas another chance — genuinely.
Everyone was talking about this one show.
The shots were soft and pretty, the clips went viral, the comments were full of heart emojis.
But ten minutes in, I felt that familiar ick rise up again.

I couldn’t get hooked.
Not even a little.

And the reason was painfully simple:
the female character was undervalued from the very first scene.
Overly accommodating.
Emotionally responsible for everyone.
Written to be soft enough to be likable, but never strong enough to lead.

It felt outdated —
not nostalgic-outdated,
but culturally stuck in the past outdated.

The type of outdated that makes you wonder why the woman still has no real agency, no real voice, no real storyline outside of being chosen by a man who can barely articulate his emotions.

And once you see that dynamic, you start to realise:

K-dramas aren’t just dreamy love stories with pastel lighting.
They’re often the same recycled script of male authority and female dimming, packaged as comfort TV.

But maybe the real reason they don’t land anymore isn’t just the shows —
maybe I changed.

I want complexity in women.
I want depth, agency, decisions, identity.
Not a storyline where she only grows if he cares.
Not a romance where her softness is weaponised to excuse his emotional absence.

Maybe K-dramas didn’t lose their charm.
Maybe I simply outgrew the fantasy they’re still trying to sell.

Turn it off before it turns you off.

Always,

Zahra

✨ When silence speaks louder than words…
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